My earliest memories of dealing with trichotillomania are lying in bed at night, pulling at my eyelashes and eyebrows, when I was 4 or 5 or 6 years old.  In the morning I'd glance in the mirror and notice bare spots in my eyebrows and along my eyelashes. My parents noticed, too, and wondered why I was pulling out the hair, but none of us realized the underlying problem.  By the time I was 7, in 2nd grade, my hair pulling had progressed to pulling hair out of my head, absentmindedly, as I sat in class.  I was barely aware of what I was doing.

Trich became an unwelcome and misunderstood constant in my life that I tried to ignore.  I tried many, many times to resist the urge to pull, but every resolution ended unsuccessfully.  Whenever I was bored, agitated, or procrastinating I started pulling my hair.  By the time I was in high school, I had to comb my hair with an unnatural side part to cover the large bald spot on top of my head.  I tried my best to disguise the problem and never spoke of it to anyone.  Going to the hairdresser simply required a white lie about my missing hair.

I married in my early 20s, had three sons, and had a successful career in fundraising and public relations, and yet I could never conquer that urge to pull my hair.  Why?  I had no idea and thought I was the only person on the planet with this problem.  I simply lived with it but never allowed it to define me or undermine my sense of self-confidence.

In the 90s, once the internet became a research option, I casually researched hair pulling and discovered that my behavior had a name and was shared by millions of people around the world.  I was shocked!  I discovered a group of people online whom all had trich and we shared stories of daily challenges, successes, and failures.  I even sought treatment from one of the few recognized trich specialists who recommended a combination of over-the-counter supplements and rather extreme behavior modifications, but it didn't work.  I simply resigned myself to living with trich and with permanent hair loss.

In 2013, after attending a meeting of the NYC chapter of the Trichotillomania Learning Center, I learned about Bianca Lyder and New Horizons Hair by Bianca. I made an appointment to meet with Bianca to see what magic she could conjure to deal with my now permanent hair loss, caused by decades of hair pulling. I had tried wearing a wig but never felt comfortable with it on and ripped it off as soon as I got home or in my car.  Wigs were definitely not an answer for me.

Bianca described a system of adding hair through weaves and extensions which would require regular maintenance but would look and feel more natural and could be styled in different ways.  This wasn't a system I had to put on or take off every day, which appealed to me.  I agreed to give it a try and was more than happy with what I saw in the mirror every morning.  Over the past 10 years, I've continued to visit Bianca for routine maintenance, including coloring and cuts.

During that time Bianca and I have become friends, even though we come from very different backgrounds.  During CoViD, she agreed to come to my house to maintain the weave and extensions.  When I suffered a stroke last year and had to have everything removed for diagnostic testing she came to the ER as soon as I called her and stayed with me throughout the day. I trust her judgment, both as a hairdresser and a friend.

If you, too, suffer from trich or another cause of permanent hair loss I highly recommend a consult with Bianca.  She is nothing short of a miracle worker when it comes to hair!   I hope that the Lyder Foundation will be a beacon of hope for anyone dealing with trichotillomania.